Saying Goodbye to Social Media ... Knowing When to Unplug

I recently posted a blog titled “How a Photo & a Memory Led to a Twitter Hiatus” http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2014/08/how-photo-memory-led-to-twitter-hiatus.html. It stemmed from an incident on Twitter about my cover photo (which you’ll have to read that blog to find out more about it).

That caused me to take a mini hiatus and seriously consider deleting my account. Since the incident back on August 5^th, I’ve only been responding or re-tweeting. No personal pictures and no “real” personal updates.

And, I’ve almost reconsidered my hiatus.

Almost.

I had been mulling over a partial return to Twitter. Quite honestly, my mom and I use it as a back-up during Facebook failures. Though not all my photos are there, some are. So, I was considering a partial return by way of continuing to post my Project: 365, posting only “partial” personal updates, and going through my followers and who I am following to “clean it up” a bit.

After reading the bullying that Zelda Williams (daughter of the late Robin Williams) has gone through, and the HATEFUL things said in the aftermath of his death, I cannot blame her for quitting social media (http://time.com/3107180/zelda-williams-robin-williams-social-media/). Not at all. I’m not even sure I want to continue posting part of my private life on Twitter. Facebook is different (which I will get to later).

As I said in another blog – “Social media has seemingly ended the long standing tradition of “etiquette”, “good manners”, and “decency”.” … and the Williams tragedy is a good sign I am right. It is the latest in a long line of issues that have made the interaction more of a burden than blessing.

I too was a fan of Robin Williams, and I did enjoy quite a bit of his work. I too am saddened by his sudden death. I too am trying to make sense of the loss. How can someone who made us alternately, and sometimes at the same time – laugh and cry – be suffering? Yet, he was.

BUT … 

We as fans have NO RIGHT to judge him.

NONE

NO RIGHT AT ALL

We can offer thoughts, prayers, condolences, and well wishes to his family – as we should. But, we in no way should judge him. We don’t know what he was going through, what happened the night before, or the day of. We know nothing.

Yet, even a few people I know have said his decision was “selfish”, some are making light of his death, and the bullying towards Zelda? I can’t begin to imagine that. Or want to.

To those people bullying a grieving child (and yes, at any age you are always someone’s child):

SHAME ON YOU! SHAME!

You’re the ones who should be leaving social media. I wish I could say some harsh, stronger, and nastier words … though I’d be no better. Even the feelings of contempt I have for them is almost toxic in my heart and soul. Still … it is there. I want to spew hate, vileness, and vitriol back at them … yet, I was raised to a higher standard of conduct.

One of my followers (and someone I follow) said that those being harassed, bullied, or hated on should use the mute, block, and report features. I wholeheartedly agree. Though, with thousands and millions of it coming in at a time … it takes a toll.

And, I’m sure the bullies and harassers would cry if they were treated the same way. They’d definitely be speaking up and using those features.

From my other blog – “After all, many of us have enough drama in real life, we don’t need it online. Some of us have limited time due to work, school, family, religious, and other social obligations. As a result, when things like this happen, we tend to withdraw away from social media since others cannot be responsible.”

This is simply the way some of us (myself included) have had to deal with the insensitive, loud, obnoxious, and abrasive people out there who feel social media gives them a right to be insensitive, loud, obnoxious, and abrasive.

The incident I had a week ago was the result of my cover photo on Twitter:

[The Twitter cover picture that started a Twitter hiatus]

If I was frustrated by that, I cannot imagine losing someone close to me (especially a loving parent I was close to) and be bombarded with negative, nasty, hateful, rude, and insensitive words during the time when there would be a huge hole in my heart from a loss few understand or imagine.

While I’m sure social media was designed to connect people, friends, companies, and often those outside our normal social circles – it has turned into a tool for bullying and has helped spread vile and vicious behavior across the globe. It has led to the decline of something we were once so proud of – MANNERS.

Just like the Tony Stewart incident – people are so QUICK to judge, pass blame, and “troll”. They seemingly have no regard for anyone other than themselves and their “rights”.

While we have those “rights”, we don’t have the right to shove it down someone’s throat. With those right comes … RESPONSIBILITY … in deciding to T.H.I.N.K before we speak.

[What it truly means to T.H.I.N.K before speaking or typing comments online]

We should also have some manners and restraint.

Yes, we have the right to say what we want. But, we don’t have the right to hurt someone, belittle them, bully them, or terrorize them – no matter WHAT our views are.

I was going to write a follow up blog stating I would be returning to Twitter full-time as I have been interacting with some people on there.

Instead, I think I’m going to stick with “limited” return – meaning very few personal updates and only pictures associated with Project: 365. As with anything, I’ll re-evaluate at a later date. I do have too many things I need to work on and most of my family is on Facebook.

As far as Facebook: I can set who I want to post to, either by name or a group. I post only to those I can trust or those who the content is relevant to. It’s eased a lot of problems, and it makes it much more “personal”, more “social”, and much more “fun”. Though, this week hasn’t had a “fun” spot given all the bad news.

For now, I think that is the best way of handling it. I can control the level of interaction on Facebook. I cannot control it on Twitter. Sometimes we do need to pull the plug or at best … turn it down.