Social Media and Opinions

A “friend” shared a blog post about someone’s “opinions” on social media. Being open-minded, or at least curious, I read it.

Before I go on, I must state one thing … I am really getting tired of all the negativity in social media. I thought the point was to connect to long-distance family and friends, not use it to abuse or harass.

These days you cannot even scroll the Facebook feed without seeing something about “why not to do this”; “how to do this”; “don’t do this” …

And, while I have my feed adjusted (I have a specific “list” I have bookmarked), I see my “friends” sharing this stuff.

If I don’t read it, I’m being closed-minded. If I do, and don’t like it … I shouldn’t have read it.

No right answer there.

“Life/Fun Sponges”

It seems, at least to me, that social media is being a “life/fun”-sponge for some people. What do I mean? It is sucking the life and fun out of some people. In addition, we have blogging that adds to it.

And, some of those blogs aren’t so positive.

While I might be guilty of posting a few “not-so-nice” things, I generally do it after all avenues have been taken. Such as waiting three (3) weeks with no hot water, only to find out the hot water heater needed to be replaced 6-12 months earlier.

Or, a company has failed to “do the right thing” and I take to social media.

That’s the worst I do, or I am trying at least. After all, if the company has been given a chance by phone, mail, Twitter, and Facebook … and still doesn’t do the right thing? A blog likely isn’t going to do much, but it will serve as a record that I tried. Perhaps it will also help others in their frustration.

“What I Don’t Blog About”

I definitely don’t offer parenting advice as I am not a parent, but planning. Although, I know how my mom raised me, and she was obviously very successful about it … her methods won’t work the same for all. I know that some would argue I am perfect, I am not. Some would say I was spoiled, my mother vehemently disagrees there. I might have been “well taken care of” in my teens and early 20’s. But, I also learned valuable lessons along the way and paid the prices for what I’ve gained.

Where I’ve come from, where I have been and the values I was raised with – are not consistent with everyone else’s (not even my mother’s). While we’re all people – our experiences, values, religious beliefs (or lack thereof), and your “locale” are going to affect; to some degree; your reactions to current issues. Even parenting.

I definitely don’t blog about politics. Not at all. I will only state how a current topic might impact my life (such as the healthcare law), but I will not enter a debate. I only blog so people can hear from their “friend”, a person they know and have daily contact with.

After all, there is no “one size fits all” about politics. And, as we’re all different – religiously (or lack thereof), spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, health wise – there cannot be a “one size fits all” political party.

In short, my needs are different from a man’s (i.e.: they don’t have to go see an OB/GYN for their “equipment”). My needs are even different from my mom’s – she is 63, and could be seen in some communities as “geriatric”, and needs a doctor who specializes in that field. Whereas I am 38 and would likely need a general “internal medicine” doctor for my problems.

She has to see an ophthalmologist for her eye health because of her health issues (namely Diabetes), where I can get by with an optometrist. Again, same – but different.

I also don’t blog about “social media” or complain about things I see/read. I choose to participate in Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. I stopped “interacting on Google + (G+) over a year ago”. The point? I know what to expect, I know what to do. I know what my rights and responsibilities are. I also expect people to communicate what they don’t want to see on Facebook or G+. I know what actions to take when I don’t want to see something – unfollow, unfriend, and uncircle. Easy as pie.

On G+, there were “circles”. You added people and you posted only to those people, much how you can do with Facebook and “lists”. There are times not everyone sees the same things. There are times I only want to show things to people I really know and trust.

Now, I might, depending on someone’s experiences – write a blog (with pictures for those who do need a visual assist) about how to take better control of those things. But, that falls under “informative” rather than “complaint”.

Mostly, I try to share my experiences (mostly informative or positive) in a blog rather than blast tweet (send over a hundred 140-character tweets), or make a HUGE Facebook status about it. There are times that blogging is a better way of communicating. I still don’t give out too much information that I wouldn’t share on Facebook and certainly nothing I wouldn’t share on Twitter.

“What Was THIS Blog All About?”

In a word (or rather two) – Social Media.  

I’ll share the link at the end of the blog. Who knows, the author might appreciate the traffic.

While I know what it is like to be discriminated against, especially so young in life – a “20-something” really has a lot to learn. I know I did. There were times I didn’t need to learn.

I’d experienced death (grandparent when I was 4; numerous after that point), divorce (parents split when I was 4; raised entirely by a single-working parent), financial ruin (a family bankruptcy when I was 22), and traumatic events well before I was 25. The biggest hit was on 9/11/2001. I was 25 years, 4 months, 1 week, 6 days old.

So, I can say I have “been there, done that, got the t-shirt, no desire for repeat performances”.

At the age of four (4), I had to grow up, at least mentally.

But, this isn’t about my childhood. This is about what led to this blog.

Being open-minded and curious – I clicked the link. It was about “six statuses that needed to end on Facebook”.

“Really, What Was This Blog About???”

Facebook statuses that needed to end immediately.

The author went on to explain which ones annoyed her and why. Fair enough. I’ll admit, there are some I see that do me in as well – but, I usually try to handle that without a blog. I try to put in a comment of “oh, check out what Snopes has to say”. If it is a “share this so this will be found” – depending on who is sharing and how old it is, I usually research. One was a few years old so I posted a link as to the current status.

However she took issue with a few that I am guilty of:

“The Shocker” the author states “if you’re going to the hospital or you have just been in an accident of some sort, you probably shouldn’t be making a status about it. This is not an appropriate way to tell your friends and family about something bad. If you’re well enough to post on fb, you can make a phone call”.

I don’t know how long she has been on social media, how many family and/or friends she has, BUT …

1.) Sometimes you only have your cell phone with you and a quick update is the best you can do.

2.) Making a “call” is not easy to do when there are separate time zones and you have that one person who is always so dramatic because they found out second, third ... fifth, etc. Trust me on this one!! Please!! I know people like that! You could have an order (mom, uncle, oldest cousin on down, close friends, etc) and someone down the line is going to be upset they were not the absolute first after you found out. Yes, even among family it happens. 

3.) Perhaps that is the BEST status you can do at that point depending on where you are and what is going on around you.

That is a quick way to let people know what is going on all at the same time.

Of course, don’t just leave it like that – as soon as you can, update your status to let everyone know what is going on. If you can’t, have someone log in and update. This is how I found out a former friend had been in an accident a few years ago. She was a friend at the time, and her sister-in-law did a “shocker” status.

Since the “friend’s” husband didn’t know her log in or how to do social media, the S-I-L’s status became a hot topic. Finally, everything was “calmed” down and someone let everyone know what was going on.

After that, the updates were more frequent and informative.

But, give someone a break. And, if that is all there is … you can ask. If they’re not informative? Move along.

“The Friend Dump” – GUILTY and PROUD. I know I shouldn’t be proud of that.

The reason I am? People need to realize that friendship is a privilege to be cherished, not abused. There are times it needs to be done, and a good person would send out a “warning” first. There are times you need to “cull” or “weed” out the lists. I know some people tend to friend everyone. Some have 1000+ friends.

I don’t know THAT many people. That is bigger than the group that started my high school class! And, when you think those people know where your kids go to school, their names, birthdates … yeah, it is kind of scary. Weeding out the list is taking a responsible approach to social media. 

Depending on the reasons for the dump, people might not get a warning.

The author writes: “Just cleaned out my friends list, if you’re reading this, congrats!”

Wow thanks, I’m so glad you kept me on your friends list so I can continue to read your pointless statuses. *Deletes*.”

Maybe she was going for sarcasm, but it fails on SO many levels. I wonder how much social media abuse she has ever taken. At 20-something? Not much. Although, I know some 20+ who have taken a lifetime of it in a short time. I don’t think the author would write this if she had taken abuse from family, friends, strangers. 

In addition, if there is drama between friends (and even family) you don’t want to be in the middle of ... you might post that as well. So, the “friend dump” is actually a good status. It makes people perk up and take notice. 

In addition, if my posts are pointless to my friends, then perhaps I did the right thing in dumping them. I always encourage people to let me know what they want to see, and if they have a problem “de-friending” me, let me know, and I will do it. After all, I accepted the request. Some have just de-friended me without letting me know, others blocked without letting me know – I’m used to that.

“The Minute-to-Minute Update” – okay, I'll admit, GUILTY and perhaps it is really over-sharing.

She writes:

“Going to bed”, “Time for a shower”, “Laundry is so boring”

No YOU are boring. What is the actual point of this? Who are you talking to? There is a reason you have zero likes on this status.”

I’ll concede – there is no point. As far as who I am talking to? People that I thought were family and friends. As far as the likes – maybe they don’t like that I am bored, going to bed, or taking a shower.

Of course, I don't do all of that. I might say “going to bed”, “doing laundry”, and “heading out” depending on what is going on.

Why do I do that?

I cherish my friends, but there are times I cannot reply to their messages, comments, comment on photos, or acknowledge their statuses. I also may not have time to get to their messages. Having at least 40+ friends, sending out different group chats is a bit annoying. Not everyone is friends with each other. These simple statuses let everyone (at the same time) know – I’m not available right now and it will take time to get back to you.

If I don't reply right away, some might think I'm ignoring them. And, I don't want them to think I am ignoring them. On the road I cannot type “on the road, reply when I get home”. So, I state that I might be away for a while or that I'm not around. This usually prevents the onslaught of messages because of the fact I might not be online for a period of time.

Thus, if people know (in advance) I am not going to be “socializing”, they know what is going on and what is to be expected.

As far as when I traveled, I checked into every airport (and my hotel) to let my mom know what was going on in case something happened. There were times calling was not practical (try 30,000+ feet in the air). So, I had to use some social media to relay information. It was a great way to remember the trip and times as well. Mostly it was done on private chat. But, for the rest of my family and friends – I had to rely on status updates to keep them in the loop. It was not practical to call five friends, my mom, and family at the same time. 

My mom was a part of my journey and trip when I did that. She felt like she was right there, every step of the way. Perhaps that is the only way some people can experience life is through the statuses of others. 

Clearly if you are not interested unfriend or block the person. Chances are, you might be doing them a favor. 

“Did You Agree With Any Of The Problem Statuses?”

To a point.

“The Cliff Hanger” ones are bad and quite annoying, depending on the friend. This is what the author wrote:

“Ugh”, “FML”, “Days like these make me so depressed”

                             

You obviously want people to ask what’s going on. About 5% of your Facebook friends will die from curiosity and cave in to ask what’s up, but the other 95% of us know you’re being intentionally vague for attention. It’s annoying. Stop.”

Perhaps someone in their own way is reaching out. If you’re concerned, simply ask “you ok” or “want to talk” … if not, go along. I’ve seen some friends post the “FML”. Someone will reach out, but that person won’t talk. But, at least someone did care. 

Consider this, we’re so quick to pass judgment on people like Robin Williams, we ask “why didn’t they seek help” – maybe, they did. Maybe it was “annoying” people.  There are people who need the help, and some need the attention.

“The Private Message”

That is the “friends say they’re busy cause they don’t want to talk to you” or “they won’t tell me what their problem is” status.

That I will admit is annoying. Haven’t seen that one though. The author clearly has friends who do this all the time:

“Why do you need to post it all over Facebook? These statuses are clearly directed at someone in particular. Talk to them. This is a waste of my news feed.”

Fair enough. If you have issues with one person, be direct. Who knows, they might not even know it is them (depending on how many people you've pissed off, lol).

So, I give this round to the author.

And, since there were only six to begin with … the final one:

“The Overly Hashtagged” – Agreed. Quite annoying. But, some of it is Instagram that remembers those “tags”. I’ve seen them myself among my friends. Thankfully some have taken the time to explain it. 

However, why not write a blog about how it started and how to “stop” it? Raise awareness not your blood pressure.

“Didn’t You Just Do What You’re Accusing the Author Of?”

As I stated previously …

“I choose to participate in Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. ”

I made a conscious and informed decision to join a social media site. I knew there was the chance of people sharing everything. I knew there was a chance no one would like what I share. I still went ahead and signed up for an account anyway. I accepted those terms and conditions.

“I know what to expect, I know what to do. I know what my rights and responsibilities are.”

Again, I knew what it was comprised of. I found out how to stop or at best “curb” the problems. I knew what I could and couldn’t so; what I should and shouldn’t do. 

“I know what actions to take when I don’t want to see something – unfollow, unfriend, and uncircle.”

If I have an issue with someone or something; I take the appropriate action. And, I would be happy to blog about how to do that. 

Or, if it bothers you that much – unfollow, unfriend, and uncircle. Tell your friends why you're doing it if you have to do it.

You are in control of what you see. It isn’t that hard. I’ve found it is easier to change my approach and reaction to a problem than to change the hearts/minds of those causing the problem. I’m in control of how I react. No one else is responsible.

That is unless someone steals my car, my purse, breaks into my home, or tries to attack me or my family – then it’s all about them. I definitely won’t be held liable or feel responsible for my reactions. No threats, just a friendly “if you’re going to do mischief, pass me on by” warning.

But, truly, the reactions/emotions about social media are all us. We’re in control. There are steps to take to stop it. We need to learn to do just that. Rather than to tell the person to stop posting, readjust our settings so it isn’t visible. 

The reason I wrote this is to perhaps to enlighten someone who might see the statuses and have the same issues. A simple explanation often helps solve a problem. 

Years ago I had an issue with a friend who thought the “The Minute-to-Minute Update” was annoying (though it was not a true “play by play”). She asked why people did that. I said because some family/friends who were not nearby were missing out on our lives. The statuses helped them be a part of it and connect to us. Several of her other friends reiterated that point. However, I began excluding her from my posts and created my lists.

I later de-friended her since she was constantly changing accounts and was really not a social media person.  She can still send me a message, but hasn't chosen to. We were only friends because of a game site we often played on.

“Just My Opinion”

In a comment Miss Trout states “whole reason that I wrote this is because I think these statuses are stupid and shouldn't be shared in the first place. That is called an opinion, which I am, in fact, entitled to.

I have no desire to control what anyone does on Facebook, nor do I think I am some Facebook God. I just think statuses like these are silly so I wrote some words about it. I promise that no one actually cares about what you post.”

I agree. She is entitled to her opinion. However, when it goes public, you should know that not everyone will like it. They will counter it, they will argue against it.

She begins the “post” with: “I’d like to shed some light on the statuses that should cease to exist. Immediately”. Cease to exist immediately? How is that not, in a way, attempting to“control what anyone does on Facebook”? I just found that a bit contradictory. 

I think there is a better way of titling that article. Perhaps “Six (6) Most Over-Used and Unnoticed Statuses That Could End” would be a better title? Six (6) Stupid and Silly Statuses That Could End”. That’d make the point too, and also without the “cease to exist” deal since it is assumed in the title.

Perhaps only certain people care about the status that was posted (mother, sibling, cousin, bed-ridden best friend, etc). How do we really know what is important to one person and not the other? Maybe my June trip was boring to some, but exciting to others? 

I guess my view of “opinion” is a bit different in that I state right off “I think, in my opinion, perhaps …” when I begin my thought, or weave it in there somewhere. That’s what I was taught; then again, I am finding I’m an “old-soul”. Her opinion statement was made in the comment, not the body.

She states it was her first article and is “juvenile”.

I was a novice blogger once. I did my research, I don’t see how that is a valid excuse, let alone a good reason. That is just my opinion. See what I did there?

In the end, there is only one way to react to these annoying statuses: 

Unfollow & Defriend

Here’s the link:

“6 Facebook Statuses That Need To Stop Right Now”

http://thoughtcatalog.com/terran-tout/2014/10/6-facebook-statuses-that-need-to-stop-right-now/