Creativity, Fandoms, and Social Media – Part Five (Advice and Extremes in the Fandom)

For the “Fandom” …

Normally I don’t give unsolicited advice. And, I really shouldn’t. But, I think someone with a clear head, a firm grasp of the definition of words, and someone who has seen/read things should point out acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

Not to mention I am a writer and would like to publish some of my own stories … so I am treading into my own dark waters with this. After all, if I am going to write (as well as publish) my own stories, this “fandom” stuff could befall me just as much. So, I do have a stake in this.

I was going to start off by saying … “don’t let someone in a fandom bully you or run you off of social media. Don’t let them dictate how you enjoy your favorite series” …

But, I’m afraid that would send the wrong idea.

Let me be clear:

BULLYING IS WRONG – from either side: shippers and non-shippers

No one deserves to be told they’re a waste of space, that they’re useless, that they’re not worthy to live. Report bullies. Block bullies.

ON THE OTHER HAND …

DO NOT “SHIP” ACTORS – if they’re with someone else, let it go, let it be. 

They know far more than you do (or what you assume you know) about their situation as you only get a **glimpse** into their lives through press photos, promo pictures, and the occasional video from a press conference. You cannot possible know what they are thinking when the cameras go off and they’re away from their co-stars in their own homes, bedrooms, Starbucks, or even at the gym.

I have had my share of crushes, some are still long going. But ... I would never presume to know or attempt to speak for someone I do not know, have not met, or have no daily contact with. 

You may be reading more into a situation than exists. Stating things in “blogs” or on social media such as “I’m very sorry you’re with people who have zero respect for themselves and who can’t see that you’re both clearly madly in love with each other” is wrong. It isn’t an opinion. It is a judgmental statement. The person who wrote that the “boy friends, girl friends, spouses” have zero respect for themselves by staying with the actors. How do they know this? Assuming much? 

It is disrespectful to the actor and to their boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse, even to their children who might someday read your words. Once things are on the internet, forever will they stay. Either because of the website, archives, or a screencap. Deleting it does not make it disappear either. It is still, depending on the site, on the server.

What would you do if their child(ren) asked you:

“Why do you hate our mommy/daddy”?

“Why don’t you want our mommy/daddy together, they love each other”?

“Why do you want to break up my family?”

Could you look at sweet, innocent, and clueless little children and tell them that you are doing it out of “spite” and “because you can”? Because it is fun?

There are innocent people involved in those fantasies involving real people.

Remember when I said something about we likely would not want malicious or erroneous information spread about us – guess what? 

I’m sure they wouldn’t want it either; and I’ll bet their families wouldn’t be too excited about it either. This is damaging to the actor’s reputation as well as their home life – the part we as fans have no right interfering in. Ya know – PERSONAL SPACE?

In this same blog, the person still believes the actors are a couple due to “too much evidence” for it.

It’s called “acting”. And, while these people would somewhat agree; let’s look at the definition of the word …

ACTING – “perform a fictional role in a play, movie, or television production; behave so as to appear to be; pretend to be”

The key words: perform a fictional role; behave so as to appear to be; pretend to be. Let those words sink in – re-read them for a few minutes.

That should perhaps light the way for knowing why it is not okay to “ship” actors (the real people behind the characters). And, it should shed a light on what is acceptable and non-acceptable behavior when it comes to the people who “perform a fictional role; behave so as to appear to be; pretend to be” someone else.

There is a line between fact and fiction. It must be clarified every so often …

FICTION – “literature in the form of prose, especially short stories and novels, that describes imaginary events and people; invention or fabrication as opposed to fact”

FACT – “a thing that is indisputably the case; the truth about events as opposed to interpretation”

RE-READ that last part of “fact” … “the truth about events as opposed to interpretation” … let that sink in too. 

Thus, the person stating “way too much evidence for them being in a committed relationship than there is against that” is interpreting events as opposed to accepting the truth about them. Thus, they have an imaginary view of the real people involved.

No, I’m not a psychologist – just someone who has stepped outside the fandom box and can see the entire situation as opposed to being inside and only seeing pieces. Nor does it take one to see the words as they are defined. Look them up on Google or your favorite dictionary if you disagree.

Let Them Have Their Fantasy(ies)…

I’d ALMOST be inclined to agree, however in doing so it seems it has spiraled so far out of control it is hard to figure out how it began, how it spread, and what to do about it. It has blurred a line between admiration and dictation of what they will do for us, and what we demand they do for us. 

For those excusing the behavior by saying “let them have their fantasy” – fantasizing about tearing couples and families apart is wrong! Period. These so called fans are disrespecting the personal life and space of the very actors they claim to “love oh-so-much”.

Would they like this done to them?

Would these “fans” like to have rumors spread about them?

About their sexual activities, sexual orientation, their relationships?

I doubt they would like it. In some cases, I’ll bet they would report it as bullying. And, maybe they’d be correct.

“Oh, it’s just harmless fun” – really? And, what about a fan who might get a tad too carried away?

I read this super cute thing, and pardon the language, however it says it all:

But, it is scary – what if a “well-meaning” fan went too far?

Who would be blamed?

Who should be blamed?

Someone tweeted that no one had the right to dictate that they couldn’t ship a particular, “real life” couple not even the people being shipped. I’d show the tweet in full, but being a human being I cannot do that to the two actors involved or their families. I don’t even know the actors involved, but I respect them far too much for that.

But, I do know that if it were me being talked about, I wouldn’t stand for it as it is disrespectful to myself, my family, and those around me. I would call out my own fans on that innuendo. There is nothing harmless about false statements and the insistence on such.

Making false written statements is libel – a published false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation.

I’d say making up false statements about an actor’s relationship could be damaging to their reputation.

Then again, I only studied “Criminal Justice”.

However, if we point out anything, we’re treading into the “safe and happy places” of others … 

Part six ...