Creativity, Fandoms, and Social Media – Part Six (Safe, Happy Places/Writer’s Nightmare)

Safe and “Happy” Places …

Some call fandom a “safe, happy place” to escape life, but insist on shipping two real life people for their escape from real life. These “shippers” or “fans” often express themselves in forums, comment sections of a show’s website/social media site, the fans’ own social media sites: tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, et cetera with how they cannot cope, how they are “emotional” with the situation, and often justify their behavior as it applies to their reactions to the show, characters, and even actors.

However, if a TV series affects them that badly that they want to “give up” or are “so emotional”, perhaps there is something wrong with them. Some more than just their interaction with the show. Right?

They need help. Or so a well-meaning person might think.

Most caring and compassionate people want to reach out and be a friend that some are seemingly lacking, or be the voice of reason they need in an uncertain place. Social media may be someone’s only way of reaching out for “help”, and they may be reaching out the only way they know how.

Someone (perhaps very well-meaning) said this to a fan of a particular “fandom”:

“If the lives of two people who you don't know impact you this negatively on a daily basis, maybe you should consider talking to a professional.”

That is a genuine, compassionate plea to the person to sit down with someone (outside the fandom and more likely a professional in mental health) to assess why they are behaving in this manner, and why the matter bothers them to that great of extent. To give them some compassion, be a friend, and provide assistance.

I’ve often seen the same reactions with “fictional” characters as well. I’ve said the same things this well-meaning person did, my mother has, my other friends have in various areas of social media within other fandoms. We enjoy TV shows, the characters, and interacting with each other – but we have a life outside of that. I’ll explain a little farther/further down ▼

And, to the well-meaning person … this is part of a reply they got:

“Don’t you dare come here and try to invalidate my feelings. I know this means nothing in the grand scheme of things but I’m still entitled to feel hurt and angry.” (remember the “fantitlement” discussed a few blogs ago; here it is expressed).

“Fandom is supposed to be a happy place for people to escape to when they’ve had enough of the real world. When that gets taken away from you, what do you have left?”

Some of us do have a life outside a TV show and away from the real world – and for some, it isn’t half bad. Even in writing this, my mother is in stage one cancer, which we are going to be treating in a few weeks. Still, we find time to talk, laugh, watch movies, play games, go to amusement parks, day trips out of state, take in a local conservatory, cook, and I even write. We “live” our lives outside of that one small moment of entertainment.

We escape from the real world by seeing the entire world around us.

It is sad that these “fans” cannot find joy, comfort, escape, and love in taking a walk in a park, sitting and playing a game with a sick child (or a child in a latchkey program), mentoring a child, comforting an older person who has no family to care for them, volunteering with youth sports – real life escapes that do not consist of work or even much effort – all outside of a TV show.

What about learning to play a musical instrument?

Learning to write good, quality stories for the world to read?

Volunteer at an animal shelter?

A trail walk?

Do some good, somewhere to escape from the real world without delving into a fantasy world that is based upon “real life” people.

 “Thank you for pretending to be concerned about me but all you did is make me feel worse about the situation.”

How? By bringing attention to what could be a deeper issue and offering some kind of assistance and guidance in dealing with it?

Why is it that some people, maybe even these same people, say there should be no stigma in have a mental illness … but dismiss it as if there was when it is brought to their attention?

Living in a Fandom …

Getting back to the real reason I wrote this series of blogs …

It originally began to tell the person who thought of leaving social media over a broken fandom to not do it. Don’t let the things said and done bother you.

But, I would caution to: MIND YOUR BEHAVIOR.

Check yourself to see if you’re doing something that goes beyond “just discussing” a TV show; enjoying the content that is presented, regardless if it is what you want; responsibly interacting with those involved; and see how what you’re writing could be misinterpreted by other fans and those involved with the series.

I’m going to joke here and say “fan responsibly”.

What I mean is …

Respect the actors and those involved in the TV show industry. TV series are not yours to control with demands and threats. If the network, producers, writers ask for ideas – then respectfully express them. If not – don’t dictate the terms. You pay for 60 minutes (one hour) of programming, you get that. You did not pay for them to play your therapist, your bestie, or your protector. You paid to be entertained, which has been done.

Again, the actors have little to no say about the scripts. But, they do have a huge say in how they’re treated and referred to in social media.

I’m lucky in that I don’t let those things bother me.  I don’t get that emotionally invested in something that I feel the need to harass the creator of the series to shape it in my vision or what I think it should be. I enjoy the series. If it goes somewhere I don’t like … I’ll discontinue watching it.

As a writer – I cannot in good conscious do that to someone else. I wouldn’t like, nor would I stand for or tolerate someone telling me what to do with characters I created or a storyline that I created either. That is my mind, my work, my creation.

That brings me to the second reason this series was written …

From a Writer …

While any fandom I might create would or could be a fan’s “safe and happy place”, it could be my worst nightmare.

However, knowing this is out there – I can expect it, be educated on it, and react as appropriately as I can to a situation.

If someone were to tell me: “you should do [BLANK]”. I would tell them, very politely, that I think their idea is a good one, and that if they feel that passionately about it … write it themselves as they would likely have far more knowledge and interest in the subject. Or something to that effect.

If they were to “demand” it, I’d tell them (still very politely) – when it comes to MY work – you demand nothing. Take it or leave it as I have created it. I spent the time researching this, cultivating my idea, getting to know my characters (who I know far better than you do), and WRITING the work you enjoy.

Two things I won’t do – be bullied off from social media, and stop doing what I enjoy and how I enjoy doing that.

Just because someone has a voice to use, doesn’t mean they have to use it to get everything they want from others by bullying them or browbeating someone into getting it. Use that voice for good. They could use it to create their own work as they see fit. Use it to tell the story they want … ya, know … kinda like I do?

FYI: when I do publish my work, unless it is tied to a TV series I did not create, I OWN MY CHARACTERS AND THEIR STORYLINE.

Got it? I own them. It was my time and mind that put them where they are. They’re mine to use as I see fit.

In advance – I’m glad you like my characters. I’m glad you have a vested interest in their future. But, I can do what I see fit with them – kill them, break them up, let them get tortured, live a miserable life. Why? Because I can. Don’t like it? Create your own storyline. Do not mistake my politeness for weakness. I refused to be bullied into demands. I will either block or report the person doing that.

To that person who said something about deleting their social media accounts – don’t. Unless that is something you really want to do. Block the people bullying you. Report them.

Also, I’ve been blocked by a certain faction of a fandom I will not name. I laugh as I’ve never had anything to do with them or interacted with them. Does it upset me? On the contrary, they make me laugh. Yes, I really do laugh at them. It’s quite amusing, but it is also inspirational.

In fact, they could easily find themselves (or people based on them) in a novel about this sort of thing …

See what I did there?